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The definitive host: A VERY Unusual Day

The definitive host

de·fin·i·tive host (duh-fin'eh-tiv) n. 1) An organism where a parasite undergoes the adult and sexual stages of its reproductive cycle 2) Someone you go to for interesting stories and/or facts, and puts on one hell of a dinner party 3) This blog, devoted to science and other geeky subjects

Sunday, January 18, 2009

A VERY Unusual Day

Ahhh, the life of an MJ student. We are tasked to find stories, but not just any stories ... GOOD ones! They have to be "newsy" enough to placate our professors.

Being as we are all in Radio Bootcamp right now, it is not suffice to call people and write down a few quotes and bang off a story ... NO, it's not like print at all ... you have to GO there and scoop the story yourself.

I could not think of an idea. Not at all. I had a few stupid ones, but with the bus strike in Ottawa, it is very difficult to go anywhere.

After a discussion with an MJ friend, I decided to go with my very first thought ... a very unusual trade-show being held in Ottawa.

It was called ... Sexapalooza.

Keep in mind, the following has been rated AA by the Canadian Blog Review Board ;)

I got there around 1 p.m., and stood in line to pay tickets with some very normal looking people. Once the ticket was handed in and I went though the door, the first thing I saw was something called the "Lane of Fantasy," which possessed over-sized novelty reproductive organs for you to take pictures of! What JOY!

As I walked around the show, some very interesting sights were presented to me. Here are a few things I saw/witnessed/overheard:
- A "Dungeon" where photography was not allowed ... enough said
- Sexy Batgirl
- Sexy Queen of the Spartans
- Sexy Spartan Queen and Batgirl showing their ... affection for each other by the bathrooms
- A vibrator called the "Eager Beaver"
- A man examining a vibrator with so much attention, that you may have thought he was a NASA employee examining the space shuttle
- Women walking around in lingerie
- A woman leading a man by a dog chain
- "Krystal, how can I put my legs behind my back like you can?"
- A woman bartering over the price of a "Rabbit"
- "Grab the pole, put your arm up, wrap your right leg around and fall while bringing your left leg up"
- On the package of a vibrator: "From ages 9 to 90"
- The new "We-Vibe," a rechargeable vibrator
- The fake orgasm competition

It was an interesting experience to say the least.

Where else can you be interview pole dancers, while a belly dancer is dancing on the stage behind you beside a shop that sells floggers?

After I got my interviews done, I left to go back to the school's editing suites.

Once there, I spent HOURS editing my clips ... seriously, it takes a LONG TIME.

After I was done, I grabbed a computer to check my email.

"Excuse me, can you help me?" said a voice behind me.

I turned around, and a breathtakingly gorgeous girl was staring back at me. She was having some trouble editing some audio.

So, being the nice guy I am, I offered my assistance.

Once I fixed her problem, we sat and talked for a good 45 minutes or so. Just talking about our respective programs, the stress of school, our likes/dislikes, etc...

Sadly, she had to run because she had dinner plans with some friends.

However, as she was leaving, she thanked me again for my help and said:
"I cannot thank you enough David, you saved my life. You ARE my hero. I hope to see you soon." Then she smiled, and walked away.

After recovering from that comment and her beautiful smile, I packed up and walked back home.

You would think that that would be the end of my story ... but NO.

On my walk home, I took a shortcut and passed through a clearing by some trees. It was dark and I heard some crows. Giving them no mind, I continued to walk, until a sound made me stop in my tracks.


I look up, and HUNDREDS of crows flew from the tree I just walked by to the trees in front of me.

Shocked at the sight in front of me, I took out my camera and took some pictures.

You know that scene in Hitchcock's "The Birds," with all the crows on the playground equipment? It was like that! SERIOUSLY!!!

After gazing at them in pure wonder, I packed up and continued my walk in the freezing cold.

As I got nearer to my house, I passed under some trees when I heard again,

And then, hundreds MORE crows erupted from the tree I was still under and flew around me and the tree, before taking off into the night sky.

Bewildered and bedazzled, I walked the rest of the way home.

Now, a day that possessed moments ranging from the weird at the sex trade-show, to the wonderful with that girl, to the awe-inspiring with the crows, can only be described in one word:


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At January 18, 2009 at 1:11 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even though you have been feeling stressed/ overworked / depressed / angry, etc. etc. at all the annoyances of living in Ottawa / the snow / the crazy workload / the strike / the toothpicks, etc.

If anything, all these experiences, including the ones mentioned in this blog (!!!) are widening your horizons and bursting your sheltered bubble.

p.s. You should post some of the pics that you took from today!

At January 18, 2009 at 6:49 PM , Blogger Meg said...

It was a friend of mine who won the fake orgasm contest...

At January 18, 2009 at 10:36 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm assuming the pictures to be posted are those of the crows right? lol


who wrote that?



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