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The definitive host: Particus animalis

The definitive host

de·fin·i·tive host (duh-fin'eh-tiv) n. 1) An organism where a parasite undergoes the adult and sexual stages of its reproductive cycle 2) Someone you go to for interesting stories and/or facts, and puts on one hell of a dinner party 3) This blog, devoted to science and other geeky subjects

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Particus animalis

As most of my faithful readers know, it was not a great week in the life of David.

So, when a few people mentioned they were going to Hull, Quebec on Friday ... I decided I needed a little bit of a break. So, I decided to go with them!

The first step was meeting at someone's house, where we would feat on poutine. So, like everywhere I go, I took the bus. And I had to walk in this very sketchy area of Ottawa.

I was walking by the Men's Mission, and there were all sort of 'interesting' characters there. There was a man with garbage bags attached to his pants filled with cans, a man with an eye patch, a man with only one eye (no eye patch) and coolest of all, a man walking in circles talking about how dryer sheets are the gateway to Armageddon.

He had some good ideas, and I don't totally disagree with his theory that the bear from the Snuggle dryer commercials, called Snuggle, is actually the anti-Christ.

Then, as I continued to walk down, I was approached by a woman who asked, "Wanna buy some pot?"

SO, I just ignored her.

"DUDE! Wanna buy some drugs? Or, got any to sell?"

I kept walking.

"Ok, man. So, no drugs. Well, how about sex?"

Naturally, I stopped (as most guys do when they hear the word sex. Seriously, try it!) So, I looked at her, and said, "Normally I would, but I'm on my way to a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting, and I gotta finish it this time ... for the kids."

She gave me the oddest look, so I smirked and walked away :)

Then, when I finally arrived and more people came, we ate one large family pack of poutine, while the other one went in the oven.

When #1 was finished, we wanted to start #2, only to realize that the styrofoam container had melted in the oven! Luckily, no poutine was lost.

Then, we went to a club in Hull, which was fun. It was me, one other guy, and five girls. How could it be bad? lol

When we finally called it a night, we called a cab to take us back to the house. The cab driver was fine, until we arrived at our destination.

He got very irritated when we were counting money and change to pay him with. VERY irritated. When we finally paid him, he insisted on giving us change and no tip!

And when we exited the car, he shouted, "Well, next time, you can stay in HULL!" Followed by a bunch of expletives.

All in all, a VERY interesting night, one which I really needed. Just to step back and get away from J-school for just a little bit.

And now, sadly, back to the grind.

Only a WEEK left though!!!!!

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At March 31, 2009 at 7:02 PM , Blogger Laura said...

Yes... I wouldn't be surprised if Snuggle were stuffed with mescaline soaked dryer sheets. Those blank eyes. The penchant for cuddling. I'm afraid to say it, but this is low-hanging fruit.

At April 5, 2009 at 6:01 PM , Anonymous de Sa said...

"and I gotta finish it this time ... for the kids"....classic...just classic...

good luck with the final stretch buddy!


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